all is good!!

well hello everyone! i do not have much to say. all i can say is the snow is melting the sun is shining and it is getting warmer. work is getting busy, Mike is making food, and everything is going good right now. i was coming home from work today and i was listening to the radio and there was a country singer just singing away and all i heard was something about a baby girl and when i was walking up to my place all i thought about is it would be really nice to come home and mike holding our baby girl in his arms and saying look mamma's home with a big smile on his and hers faces. anyways everything is ok we will have another baby or 2. Mike wants a boy and i want another girl. so we will see what we will get. it could be more then 2 could be 3 i don't care really how many we have as long as they are healthy and alive. i mean i am kinda over it but i still think about it. and that's ok with me. i have to tell u that there was another girl who was pregnant when i was pregnant and she just had her baby 1 week ago. she had a baby girl and she came in to work one day with her baby girl and yes i all most started to cry. but i didn't. she was a cute baby but i really didn't get a good look cuz i was scared and i was shaking alot but all i really seen was her pink little head. so i talked to mike and we mite be starting sooner to have another baby. u guys can say all u want but u are not in my shoes. it is alot harder then u think. so anyways that's about it nothing new here but working and stuff. so have a good night.

i got the job!

it is still snowing out and it is bugging me. it's cold out too. anyways i guess i got the job at the old farts home. the boss said i could start at the end of this month but i have to go over there tomorrow after work to talk about when i can start working midnights. so YAHOO!!!!

snow! snow!

so this is what we woke up to this morning!! the white truck it's Mikes. can u believe this. we got a lot of snow and it's still coming down.

to a better life!

well everything is looking better. work is slow but it will pick up soon. Finlay got payed but still have no money. i have to pay rent some how. i called the old folks home and the boss is gone and i don't know when he will be back. well after Riley was born we decided that i am going to louse all this weight and get healthier then i was with Riley. so it will be better for our next baby. but i just want a baby now cuz we were so close u know so i just thought mike would want to get pregnant sooner but he is standing his ground. witch i do not blame him but i was mad about it all i want is a baby but i have to get healthier to have another baby with him. so that's what i am going to do. i am going to stop smoking on Tuesday and stop drinking pop and walking every day and all kinds of stuff to save my money. life is vary expensive and it's going to get even more expensive tomorrow. so here is to u for a better life.

one good day.

so i think i had a good day today. my boss tolled me that i will get $.50 cents more starting now so now i make $8.00 and hour YAHOOOOOOO!!!! then at the end of the day i went to talk to HR to talk about insurance and my Aflac. well i have insurance starting today and she will talk to Aflac and get me papers to fill out so i can get money from them. YAHOOO!!! so far it is looking good. did i tell u i am losing weight too. YAHOOOO!!!

thinking positive!

well the girl who was pregnant with me she had a girl yesterday so every one was talking about today. man, i was so bummed out today. but i got over it. now she will come to work to show off her little girl. it's not fair !!!!!!!!! it is so hard to go to work and every were i go i see happy pregnant girls. it is so hard. ok (think positive, think positive !) ok i am thinking positive in 1 month me and mike are going to try again. for some reason i might have a boy i don't know why i think this but i do. witch is ok that just means if we have a boy we have to try again so i can have a girl. i was just thinking. wouldn't it be weird if we had a boy or a girl and the baby looked just like Riley??? that would be SO weird. but it would be good too. how many kids will we have 2 ,3 or more??? hmmmm well i do not care i always wanted a big family. i will get pregnant this summer and i know i will hate it cuz it's so hot but it would be so cool to show off my pregnant belly so i hope i get a cute one again. cuz i did have a cute belly with Riley and every one knows it too. but what am i going to do if i get as big as Becky or Sarah? wow they were big!! so i will walk and not be lazy like i was before. it will be great. i can't wait. 1 more month and we get to start trying. if the Doc. say's it is ok i mean. we will see.

just another day!

sorry i have not been writing on my blog but i have been busy every day after work i went to baby site the kids. so i just got home from work and a girl from work who is pregnant is in labor and should have her kid i think by tonight. i think she is having a boy. she is keeping everyone up dated by the hour for some reason. work is getting better. every now and again some one asks me about the baby but it's getting easier to tell them. me and mike are going to wait 1 more month and then we are going to try to have another baby. i know it will take awhile and that's ok with me. i know it will suck beaning pregnant in the summer but i don't care i just want to fell my baby kick like it should. Riley died before she could really kick. i know that we should wait until everything is up to date but if u have never been in my satiation u will never really understand how it feels. i am trying to look past this and think of good things. so anyways everything is going ok for now and getting back to my life. so nothing new has happened to me just alot of thinking and everyone knows this blog is for me so i can wright down the things i am thinking . so in a few years i can look back and read it so if u don't want to say anything that's ok. i miss been pregnant and i want a family with mike. i can't see my self with any one else. i know times are tough right now but i know they will get better. so have a good day.