the big move !

well i am going to moving in my new apartment this weekend. it's upstairs. John tolled me i have to be as quit as a mouse. so that means Mike and his son can not come over or some one will call the cops on me again and i will get kicked out. so i am pissed off cuz he tolled me he had a down stairs for me and he lied about it. so every time Mike comes over he has to get a room for him and his son. i am having a bad day. i miss my kid. i just want to run away but i can't. i just want to start over where no one knows me or what happened to me and my baby. i want to brake up with Mike but i can't. it's to hard. to much there. for me if i say goodbye to him i am kinda in my mind saying goodbye to a little peace of her. and i just can't do that right now. i have nothing to show for my life but urine for my little girl's ashes. no job,no money no nothing right now. why can't i just be happy, have a my own family and a good life. so i am not having a good day today. i just want this to go away. some times i think of her and just cry. all alone. i am writing this cuz i feel better writing it then talking about this. i just want it to go away.

well hello again to u all. well Mike and his son came over last weekend. and as soon as we got home the girl down stairs from me. called the cops on us because Mikes little boy was running and jumping. he was happy and we did tell him to stop but he didn't. then big John came over to give me a letter and telling me i have to wright a letter to who owns the apartments, telling them it will never happen again. the funny thing is the the chick down stares lets her dog bark all the time and playing her crappy music all night long. but i am the one getting in trouble. so i do not know. i think the chick down stairs is trying to get me kicked out. i didn't do anything to her. i just don't know what to do any more. it's not getting any better. me and mike are not getting better. i just don'r know.