the big move !

well i am going to moving in my new apartment this weekend. it's upstairs. John tolled me i have to be as quit as a mouse. so that means Mike and his son can not come over or some one will call the cops on me again and i will get kicked out. so i am pissed off cuz he tolled me he had a down stairs for me and he lied about it. so every time Mike comes over he has to get a room for him and his son. i am having a bad day. i miss my kid. i just want to run away but i can't. i just want to start over where no one knows me or what happened to me and my baby. i want to brake up with Mike but i can't. it's to hard. to much there. for me if i say goodbye to him i am kinda in my mind saying goodbye to a little peace of her. and i just can't do that right now. i have nothing to show for my life but urine for my little girl's ashes. no job,no money no nothing right now. why can't i just be happy, have a my own family and a good life. so i am not having a good day today. i just want this to go away. some times i think of her and just cry. all alone. i am writing this cuz i feel better writing it then talking about this. i just want it to go away.

well hello again to u all. well Mike and his son came over last weekend. and as soon as we got home the girl down stairs from me. called the cops on us because Mikes little boy was running and jumping. he was happy and we did tell him to stop but he didn't. then big John came over to give me a letter and telling me i have to wright a letter to who owns the apartments, telling them it will never happen again. the funny thing is the the chick down stares lets her dog bark all the time and playing her crappy music all night long. but i am the one getting in trouble. so i do not know. i think the chick down stairs is trying to get me kicked out. i didn't do anything to her. i just don't know what to do any more. it's not getting any better. me and mike are not getting better. i just don'r know.

well Mike did pay for the phone and now i have my cell phone back on. YAHOOO!!!! so anyways i been thinking about stuff for a while. i can't help it it just comes and goes when it wants too. i miss my baby girl. i try to not think about her but i can't help it. i remember it like it was yesterday. everything. the way Mike looked when we went to the hospital. i can still hear my dad crying in my ear. when we came home after we found out and Mike was sitting on the coach with me and Jo walked in and all i could say to her is that it is ok. knowing it was not. i tryed to make every one feel like it was ok but it was not. how my 2 big sisters were so mad cuz all they wanted for me is to get it over with. yelling at the so called doc i had. that was the best. how no one knew at he hospital knew how far along i was. when she was coming i started to cry cuz Mike was not there and Becky had to run out side to go get him. i sware it only to 2 seconds for him to come in to the room after becky went to go get him. how the doc kept telling me how bad she looked and if he helped me her head will pop off. that's what he said. he wanted me to look at her when i was trying to get her out of me. well all this plus more all run in my head every day and night. i try to stop and think of something good but i can't. i think about this Christmas and family but it just makes me sad. cuz last year i thought about Riley and how much fun and proud i would be of her cuz every one would have said how cute she was and pass her around. sitting on Santa's lap. all that good stuff i thought about last year. so i fave to say i am not looking forward to this year. it will for me be sad. i just don't want to face it. i will be alone on that day even with all my family around me i will still be alone. i just don't want to do this but i will and if any one reads this. just to let u know she is always in my mind even thought u do not think about her i do. so if u see me sad or what ever this year just remember it is not u. it's all me and i will be ok. just thinking about it. i just want to cry. there is every one so happy with there kids and grandkids having fun. then there is me childless because i am to damn stubborn. if i was not stubborn i think it would have been different. why does my mom say it is going to be ok??? in the past before my baby everything was ok until now. i believed her. i should have lesion to every one telling me i should have went some where else to see a different doc. i am so stubborn. why do i have to learn the hard way all the time. why did this happen. this never happened in my family. i was 3 months and i bout her diperbag cuz i knew nothing was going to happen. how did i know the baby didn't stop moving. i was thinking of a newborn. they don't move when they are sleeping in there crib. why didn't any one tell me they do not stop moving when u are pregnant????? but i guess i learned my lesion the hard way like i always do.. i know i tell people to get over it and i do the same with things that are in my life and i tryed to get over my baby and i can't. this will be with me untill i die. i will always think of her. last weekend mike had a dream about his dad. his dad had a big smile on his face and he was holding a baby girl in his arms. mike knew that was Riley. she was a newborn. Mike said he could not see her face but just knew it was her. he keeped telling me that the baby his dad was holding was beautifull. when he tolled me i was kinda mad that he can have dreams like this cuz the last time i had a dream about her. some one was telling me that some one was going to try to take my baby away then a few weeks later we find out that she was gone. so anyways i better go

some bad news!

well i have some bad news if any one cares i quit my job cuz they cut back my hours. so now i have no job. but that is not the worst part my cell phone was cut off as well. so do not call me. u can email me all u want. i am starting to work out. i hope it works. i should have done this last February. but whatever i got so lazy. the funny thing is that mike thinks that i am going to the gym and i am not. so i am keeping all the money he gives me. hehehehe. so i have to work out. no matter what. we both agred that i would after my baby was born but i just could not and then i just got lazy. but not any more. anyways have a good day.

the big night out!

well hello again to u all. me and joAn went to fortune bay Saturday night to see some strippers. we had lots of fun. there was only 3 guys who striped down to almost nothing and they were good. they were all over me that night. 1 guy gave me a lap dance, the other one grabbed me and pulled me towards him. he was hot, my hair was flying and i felt his hot wet body. SO nice. and then i hugged the other guy while he was licking my neck. the other guys who were there all they did was dance really badly with bad music. but we both had fun. but we hope the chip and Daile's come next year or some one better. but if not we are still going to go next year no mater what. so we both had fun. well did u know it is me and Bailey's B_day this month? her b_day is on the 12th and my b_day is on the 13th. she will be the big 02 and i will be 29. i am so old. anyways. have a good day.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

it's a good day to go trick or treating tonight. i hope all the little kids have a fun night and get lots of candy. i wish i could go but i have to work and then baby site my brothers 2 big dogs. they didn't even leave any candy out for the kids. well i hope u guys all have fun. anyways Mike came up last weekend. but i didn't even know so i had my trick for this Halloween. mike surprised me and scared me so bad i almost had a heart attack. then after my heart slowed down we went to the north shore again. it was a little cold but it was nice. we spent the night in a motel that looked like a little cabin. it was so nice. we didn't do much we Sat on the shore line and looked for rocks and watched the waves. it was so nice and we both needed it. we drake and talked and laugh and Mike passed out by 8pm. i could not believe it but that's what happened. the whole weekend he beeped asking me to marry him. so i said yeah what the hell but i tooled him he has to buy me a cute little ring and pay a judge to marry us. so he said yeah. but i have no idea when that will be maybe next year. so if i marry this guy i will be known as Allison staver or ally staver. that sounds really bad. but whatever i guess. anyways have fun and be good.

they are home!!!!!

they are home thank god or what every u want they are home. no more Flyin, well last night i took a hottub and when i went down stairs i seen the "BEAST" humping my pillow. for gross, and then he barked all night, i think he seen the cat. then as soon as 8 am came around there he was in my face and climbing all over me. so i don't care mom and dad came home. Flyin so not my problem any more YAHOOOOOO! so now back to my life. BORING !!!! bye bye

my first day!!

well it is not easy to babysit a big dog that is as spoiled as Flyin. let me tell u how my first day went, so the dog spent the whole day out side cuz i was babysitting the girls all day. but i did come back here for about a half an hour. i will just say it is like a zoo here. u let the dog in and u have to let the cat out. vary tricky thing to do. so anyways i finally come back to let the "BEAST " in and let the cat out. CRAZY so he went nuts but he was ok after awhile. did i tell u this place is FREEZING. it is always cold in here. and there coach don't even get me started on that. it's so uncomfortable to sleep on i think i sleeped a few hours last night. so i Finlay got to sleep and the next thing i know Flyin is putting his noise in my face. to go out side to potty at 8 am in the morning. mind u, i didn't get much sleep that night. so i let him out site and i bring him in and i was getting ready to make some food when the " BEAST " grabs dad's orange hat. the hat is to go for walks well i tolled him no so he started to freak out walking all over the house with that orange hat. so i called mom and dad to see were i can bring him or what to do with him. well i ended up bring him to Adam's house to play with his 2 dogs. he was all excited to go some where. so we got there and right away Adam's dog Rascal started to growl at Flyin. he was so scared so i got scared and again called up my dad. but i guess rascal does that to show Flyin who is boss. so i put him in the cage with the 2 dogs and Rascal tolled him who's boss's all right. i got so scared i all most started to cry cuz i do not like dog fights. so about 2 hours in i went to go see if the guys were ok and he was so sad i took the "BEAST" out and took him back home. did i tell u how cold it is here. i have no idea how they do it. so that was my first day. so i have 3 more days with the "BEAST" do u think i will make it? i hope i do. I MISS HEAT!!!!!

babysitting!!!

my parents went to go see Becky and i am babysit Flyin for the week. starting today and i only seen him for about a half an hour today and he is doing fine i think. he is a big dog. he likes to jump on me and bite my hand to tell me he needs to go potty. he is such a big baby. did i tell u i have to sleep with him too cuz he is such a baby he can't sleep out side at night. so even though mom's house is cold i get to cuddle with there dog. Charily is staying over at the girls House for the week and i don't know how he is going to behave. so i am a little worried about that. i would bring him to mom's house but Flyin is a bully to smaller animals then he is. so this will be a fun week. i get to stay in a cold house and use the hottub all i want. hehehehe. Mike is coming over this weekend and i can't wait. i think we are going to the north shore again. this time i will bring my camera. he loves that place. so i was thinking that i should wait until Mike gets his own place before i move to the city's. cuz his mom is getting on his nerves. she is a neat freak. my sister was that way i hated it. so i kinda feel sorry for mike. but whatever i think he deserves it. he is kinda that way to me. so come back another time to see what happens next.

my baby girl!

well hello again, well i just realized in 3 more months it will be 1 year since my baby was born. that is so weird to me cuz to me it seems like it was just yesterday. to this day i still cant think of what she looked like when she was born. she was so small. she was only a foot long and only a pound. so that was really small. i know she looked like me but the way her skin was when she was born. the doc. tolled me what her skin was like when i was trying to get her out of me but i still can't think about how that would look. i mean she was dead for about 2 or 3 weeks before we found out. she was sitting in water the whole time. so i don't know i guess i will always try to imagine how she looked like that day. but every time i try to i think of a fat chubby baby. witch is fine with me cuz i eat so much then cuz i wanted a chubby baby. we figer if it happens it happens so there is no perisher on us. and if that happens we will do what we have to so it is not so much stress on us and we will get a good doc. this time. i mean i know it will not always be this way. so that will be ok. my dog helps me alot he keeps my mind on him and not on her. that is one of the reason i got him. but when i move to the city's it will be a sad day for me cuz i can't bring him with me. he will be living with JO and the girls. so i know he will be ok. i hope. it seems to me every time i get a pet i always have to give them up. i hate that. cuz i really want my dog. more then anything. i will allways love my baby no mater how many kids me and Mike have she will always be my baby , my kids will know about there big sister.

North Shore!

well i had fun last weekend with Mike. we all went to the north shore for the day on Sunday me Mike and his 3 year old son. we had lots of fun i did take picks but i had to buy a throw away camera so i can't get them on here. i forgot my camera. but wow the weather was grate. the colors of the leaves were beautiful. the waves were huge all most gobbled Mike and his son all up. but i saved them . the falls were very nice. there was allot of people there. but we all had fun. so we are going there when it is winter. it's a nice place to go to get away from it all. it's only 2 hours away so it's not far to go but far enuf to get away. oh Mike has a new car. it's vary nice cuz it only took $15 dollars to go to the north shore and back. i missed that guy so much. he was prefect all weekend. i was good too. so it was Mikes B_day last Sunday. so i got him some boxers that he loves and a husband card and when he read it he started to cry. how sweet is that. did anyone remember that my B_Day is next month on the 13 ? hmmmm did u? i hope u did. i will be the big 29. i am SO old. but i look good at 29. hehehehe bye

i don't know!!

how have u been? i have been working at grandma's for 3 weeks mostly on the weekend. its going good i just make salads. i am hoping to learn how to cook soon. i am still looking for another job. it's not looking good but i am still looking. Mike is coming up for the weekend and i can't wait. he said he is going to buy me food. well me and charily are walking every day and don't think he lost anything but i think i did. but that's all i have to say nothing good happening here is tower. so see u later

my new job!

well i had my first day of work today and i think it went good. i had to work with one of the guys that was hired. well the guy was sood but i think i was good too. he was nice but we will see. all i did was prep all day. it was ok it wasn't to hard to do. so i wor the rest of the week with that same guy. i think every one knows him but i was a sweet funny girl and i think they like me. so that was my day and i like it.

starting my new job

well tomorrow i will be starting my new job at the restaurant called grandma's as a cook and i can't wait i am so Bord sitting at home doing nothing. i am a little sad cuz i have to downgrade. the cook job is only 30 hours a week and i live all the way in Tower so all my money is going to gas. but it's ok as soon as i get the job and blow the 2 guys out of the water. i will learn how to cook and when i get good i can go to any restaurant and get a job as a cook so it's ok for now. so wish me luck! well i was thinking about the hotel job and i am not going to take it.

i can have 2 jobs!!!

well i have to make a decision, ok the hotel called this morning to ask if i still wanted that job. i think Aaron had something to do with that. cuz she said she would call some time next week and the next day after my interview they call me. weird! so i start work at the restraint on Wednesday morning and i don't even know i really got that job so i am thinking on calling the restraint and asking if i can start in the afternoon instead of in the morning so i can work in the hotel. well the hotel is a part time job and i will work like everyday. they pay $6.75 an hour so that is little money for me. so i was thinking if i do work for both job i would have to move to virginia some how. so what do u think?? these 2 jobs are the only ones that called i don't know if anyone else will call me for a job.

i got a job!!

well i did get the cook job and i start Wednesday morning. but there is a catch. i have to compete with 2 other guys to really get the job. all i know that the other guys have no idea what they are doing and i do. well i think i do. so sarah if u know any little hints or whatever now is the time to tell me cuz if i do good and they fire the 2 other guys i could make some good money years down the rood. so i had a job interview today at a hotel and guess who i seen? my cousin Aaron. well i think he was waiting for me. so he just wanted to say hi but all i know is that him and dana work there. i didn't have time to talk to him. well when i was at my interview she said it is only $6 something an hour and they will only want me to work there is only some one calls in. i live all the way in tower that is about a half an hour to Virginia. so i am not taking that job. i am hoping some other places i applied for will still call me. well Mike as Finlay left for the cities he went to day and i am happy about that. i can do whatever i want know. so i am going to start cleaning up the appartment cuz if i do get the cook job i will be moving to virginia. so we will see.

to new beginning!!!!

well as u all know i quit my job at the bay and i am glad i did. i could not take the people there any more. so i went to Virginia to look for jobs and 3 people called me back. i have 1 job interview today at 3 at a restraint for a cook. if i get hired they will train me then another one is at a hotel but the interview is on Thursday morning. there is another one calling me from cook the town for a home to clean up but i called her back but she was not there so she has to call me back. i am waiting for the rest to call me if there is any more. i put my app. every were in Virginia. so we will see. so we will see what happens. anyway bye bye

freinds

well me and Mike are going to be friends. he is going to bring his son over this weekend cuz he has no where else to bring him. Mike will be moving to the citys with him mom and grandpa in like a week or so. so he can find a better job and get a place. but he is going to call or email me when he can. all i can say that he is a good guy but i don't think he is the guy for me. i just want to be friends with him. that's a good thing for me. anyways that is all for now.

single!!!!!

yes i am single again. i broke up with Mike last night and dropped him at his club house. it was kinda weird cuz to him he had no idea this was going to happen but i tryed to brake up with him for the last 2 weeks. he thinks the only reason i broke up with him is because of his drinking but it's allot more then that. well it all started a little after my baby was born. he stared calling me fat then he tryed telling me i have no idea what i am doing with my life and he wanted me to fix it , he though i was messing my life up and spending to much money that is why i was so broke but when he needed money i had it, i was lazy, i didn't clean my place up all the time lets not for get i am a housekeeper for most of the day so i come home and clean up after him and his son when he has him. so i do not clean every day he put me down and made me feel like i was beneath him. to him i was the fuck up. he tryed to make me feel sorry for him while he was making me feel like shit. i know that is all men but i do not have to put up with that EVER! so i got ride of him. i am happy that i did too. i will not feel like that again. i know he will try to convince me that he has changed but he will never change. i say he can try all he wants but he is an ex for a good reason. plus i really have no feelings for him at all. when we first went out i would get butterfly's in my belly when i kissed him and i do not get that any more. i don't feel anything when i kiss him. so i am glad he is gone. it's just me and the puppy now and thats the way i want it. so happy day. so now i am going to work on my self and feel better about my self.

CAMPING!!!!!

so me, Mike and the dog went camping yesterday. we went some where in the woods. some were between Tower and Ely. we just drove down a country rood and found a spot to camp. we borrowed my mom's tent and it was SO small it was a 2man tent but we would have been squished all night. well when we got there we forgot some stuff . we just wanted to go camping. so we got what we could think at the time. so anyways we got there and set up camp. we had fun we talked and stuff we were having fun. then at midnight we Herid wolfs i think they were like a half a mile away. they were howling at the moon so Mike howled back at them so i freaked out and got in the car with the dog. so Mike jumped in and we yelled at each other. Mike saying it will be ok. but all i can think about is the wolfs coming over to check it out and sniffing at the car. so all kinds of bad thought running though my head about wolfs. i was so scared so we left the tent and the chars behind. we headed back home and went to bed. the next morning i Herid the dog howling at 6am the funny thing about that is that is the time i have to get up for work every morning but anyways the dog sounded just like the wolfs we Herid last night. it was cute. so we got up tired as can be and went to go get the stuff we left behind. when we got there everything was left were we left it nothing was moved or anything what i was thinking last night. i freaked out for nothing but i was not going to take that chance. so we made breakfast and then left around noon. Mike wants to go back the next time we both have the same day off and camp all night so i tooled him we will see. i am a big chicken of wild animals. but i am sorry to say i have no pics to show u guys. but i did see a black bear when we were looking for a camp sight.

my little man!!!

well we just got home at 12pm and all he wanted to do is sleep. this is my little man i just got him yesterday . he is only 3 months old i had to go all the way to sarah's house to get him. he doesn't have a name right now but he will. well i went over to mom's and she just fell in love with him as soon as he seen him. then i went over to my brother's and the kids loved him Bailey wasn't even scared of him. she gave him a kiss. it was so cute. so what do u think of my little man???

i am out of here!!!!

well i am going to sarah's house tomorrow Morin and i am going to bring grandma's cat with me. they do not want it any more. because bec is allergic to that sweet little black cat. but what ever i guess. the cat will love it there. so i might be bring some thing back. i will post it when i get back. i am so excited about it. so stay tone to this Chanel.

I AM BACK!!

Hello again. i have the net back and TV YAHOO!!!! so i am back in the real world again. so nothing new with me just working and trying to think of things to do that do not cast allot.

looking for a small dog!!

hello well there is nothing new with me. i was just wondering if any one new if anyone was seling a small day? i cheap small dog??? well if u do let me know ok. thanks

it was a good 4TH!

well the 4Th was so much fun. we all went to the pride. the kids got lots of candy then later that day we went to see the fire works. there were alto of drunk people. me and Dan were walking around with Bailey and some guy who was drunk wanted to dance with me but i said no cuz i had Bailey and then he grabbed Dan. it was so funny she was all worried but as soon as the guy grabbed Dan's hand Adam came in so i took Dan and walked away. the guy got thrown out of the street dance. Dan and Bailey got Bord so we walk to the gas station to see Jo but when we were walking back Dan seen the guy again and got scared but i tooled her the guy would go to jail if he tried to come back and he did go to jail that night. so Dan was not so freaked out anymore. then we all waited to see the fire works and all of a sudden some guy plowed in to me. when i was just about to yell at him he stared running again and there was a cop right behind him. i guess he ran all the way to the gas station before the cops got to him. i guess the guy punched some girl in the face and nocked some of her teeth out. it was exciting so that is what happened on the 4TH of July. i have finally got my gov. check YAHOOO!!!!!!!!! so i am not that broke right now. so me and Mike are going to go out and do something tomorrow. i am so glad i got it cuz i had NO money and i need stuff. so that's all i have for right now . but Sarah do not get to mad at Dan it was just a free phone. oh yeah Dan lost her phone too while she was here. KIDS!!!!!!!!!

happy first of July!

well it is the first of July and there are so many kids at grandma's house. this is going to be 1 busy week for every one. lets see we have Alyssa,Danika, tylen, bailey and Emily's little girl. every one is having fun. right now everyone is fishing well not everyone Bailey is at home with her mom and me and grandma are here. i do not like to fish it is SO boring. i am washing and mom is relaxing. i hope i get the 4Th off cuz i have not seen the parade in 3 years so maybe me and Dan can look for some hot guys. for her i mean hehehe. so i have some news i just got a 24 cent raise at work. YAHOO!!!!! so now i make $8.24 . so me and Mike are doing ok i think i had a bad dream last night cuz all i remember i was hitting him and him telling me to stop. poor guy! but yesterday mike riped my pants to shreds. they had holes in them. but that's ok. mike is a little kid at heart just like me. so have a good day on this hot day.

this suck's !

well hello again, well the relatives came up for only 1 week they were going to stay for 2 weeks but could not take it i guess. so lets see what have i been doing??? hmmmm well just working . i am a little pissed at my boss cuz he just hired 4 more people and we do not need them. the only time it is busy at the hotel is on weekends. it is so dead there it's not even funny. so i do not know what my boss is thinking. and i hired that if we do not get 40 + hours a week they are going to take are insurance away. it is so dead there. so thats it. anyways have a nice day.

have a good life!

hello everyone, how is everything going? well here i am babysitting my brother's 2 girls. the baby is sleeping and my and Lissy are hanging out. she is a little wild but she is always a wild girl. well i wnr to the college to day in Viginia. so i might be goin to college in Augest but i do not know. i am thinking about assistant or something like that. it would be nice to work in an office and not working my fingers to the bone. well i just want to do something better then what i am doing. it might be good for us i hope. oh did i tell u i went out like last weekend. i had so much fun. i went out with 2 other co-workers. we had fun. but that's the only thing going on right now. just to let u know i am not pregenant. cuz i remember danny boy was asking me that the last time i talked to her. so anyways thats about it. i do not do much i don't go any were. ok well have a good day.

have a good day!

well how have every one been doing?? me i am ok. me and mike just got new phones and they are SO cool. so work is going good but it is SO DEAD right now it's making me sick. some times it is not even worth going to work some times. the gas prices are killing us that is why. no one wants to stay in a hotel any more. oh well i guess right? so me and Mike are doing ok. we really do not do much becuz of the gas price. every thing is getting to high. so anyways the sun is out and it's a beautiful day. Mike might be gone all weekend. he is going riding with his club brothers and spared crazy bob's ashes some where. i do not know what i will be doing all weekend. i hope it will be nice so i can go for a walk and maybe just maybe walk that monster of a dog my mom and dad have. Wednesday day i took him for a walk and he almost choked him self to death to get another dog who was chained up. dumb dog. anyways we had fun. so that's about what i am up too. might hang out with friends and go to mikes club house meeting to see what they do there all the time. heheheh. and he will never know i am coming. hehehehe. so anyways an joy the worm weather and have a good day. and dan, i will come and see u as soon as i can. mike just got a new car so when i have a weekend off and i have money for gas i will come and see u. so be good. bye bye

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the mother's out there. i hope u are having a good day. so anyways. me and jo went to go see some strippers last night at the bay. it was So much fun. they were so hot. but i am sorry to say they didn't get compleatly naked. they did have thongs on so i guess that's ok. MAN, they were hot. it was so much fun. they were all over the place they were doing flips dancing and stuff!!! but i am sorry to say i do not have any pic's to show u cuz we were not alowed but me and jo did take a pic together with the hotties but i do not how to get it on here. it was so fun. but anyways have a good day and i hope your kids get u something u will love forever. have a nice day.

What Allison Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time.

Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals

hi

well here i am i do not have a comp. so i use mom's so anyways me and mike went to Virginia last sat. we had fun for once we checked out our goose and he is getting bigger. he has not ran away cuz when we got there his pen door was open and he was just sitting there waiting for us to come to see him and to feed him too so he is doing good. we went shopping for socks and i got a new shirt. it's so cute it's pink. we went out to eat we had fun. mike's car is braking down he has a crack in the transmission so he doesn't know when it will just stop working. but when it does he will find the money to buy a new car. my aunt Rose and my uncle tarry are coming today. so that mite be cool. i haven't seen them since i was little i think. but that's about it for me.

my life as a goose farmer!

well our little goose survived the cold and he is doing good he is getting bigger now but he still has no feathers right now. we need a name for him/ her cuz we do not know what it is. so what should we call are goosey goose thats his name right now. Mike is staying at his foundry for the week cuz he has no money to drive to Virgina to Tower all week so i have the whole week to my self and i am SO Bord. but it is nice all well. i am doing good nothing new with me i do not do much. i do not tell story's , i do not have a garden and i didn't go to dan's b_party. but 1 day i will have a good story, i will have a garden and i will go see dan and her little bro. but until then i am so Bord! so i was just wondering something. ok we have a goose and he will get big and fat. he is one day going to be supper. so sarah do u know how to gut a goose? i am asking u becuz u are the hunter in the family. like u always tooled me try something new and as soon as goosey goose is big and hat that will be something new. i mean u are going to eat your chickens right?? so let me know ok. maybe we will get some chickens too.

to a good life!

well it's a beautiful day out today took my walk and went to the doc's yesterday and i have lost like 17 pounds in 3 months. so i think that is cooooooooool. and he tolled us when the best day is to get pregnant and he was really nice to us. mike went with me. i got my vitamins and some folic acid pills. that will help the placenta better. so all is well. mike got a baby goose the other day it's SO cute. it followed me around all day and was sleeping in my arms like a little baby. but the goose lives out at mike's foundry so i hope the little guy doesn't get scared or to cold. but anyways all is good here in our little family.

there are better day!

well i just taked to my landlord and my rent it only $5.00 a month but i have to pay some how $579.00 for the 2 months i didn't pay for feb and march and i tolled him i do not know how i am going to pay for that and he said pay what i can each month. so that's good. but $5 a month can u belave that? that so cool. i am so happy about that. so it is getting better 1 day at a time so it's all good right now. well i just wanted to tell u the good news. so have a good day.

all is good!!

well hello everyone! i do not have much to say. all i can say is the snow is melting the sun is shining and it is getting warmer. work is getting busy, Mike is making food, and everything is going good right now. i was coming home from work today and i was listening to the radio and there was a country singer just singing away and all i heard was something about a baby girl and when i was walking up to my place all i thought about is it would be really nice to come home and mike holding our baby girl in his arms and saying look mamma's home with a big smile on his and hers faces. anyways everything is ok we will have another baby or 2. Mike wants a boy and i want another girl. so we will see what we will get. it could be more then 2 could be 3 i don't care really how many we have as long as they are healthy and alive. i mean i am kinda over it but i still think about it. and that's ok with me. i have to tell u that there was another girl who was pregnant when i was pregnant and she just had her baby 1 week ago. she had a baby girl and she came in to work one day with her baby girl and yes i all most started to cry. but i didn't. she was a cute baby but i really didn't get a good look cuz i was scared and i was shaking alot but all i really seen was her pink little head. so i talked to mike and we mite be starting sooner to have another baby. u guys can say all u want but u are not in my shoes. it is alot harder then u think. so anyways that's about it nothing new here but working and stuff. so have a good night.

i got the job!

it is still snowing out and it is bugging me. it's cold out too. anyways i guess i got the job at the old farts home. the boss said i could start at the end of this month but i have to go over there tomorrow after work to talk about when i can start working midnights. so YAHOO!!!!

snow! snow!

so this is what we woke up to this morning!! the white truck it's Mikes. can u believe this. we got a lot of snow and it's still coming down.

to a better life!

well everything is looking better. work is slow but it will pick up soon. Finlay got payed but still have no money. i have to pay rent some how. i called the old folks home and the boss is gone and i don't know when he will be back. well after Riley was born we decided that i am going to louse all this weight and get healthier then i was with Riley. so it will be better for our next baby. but i just want a baby now cuz we were so close u know so i just thought mike would want to get pregnant sooner but he is standing his ground. witch i do not blame him but i was mad about it all i want is a baby but i have to get healthier to have another baby with him. so that's what i am going to do. i am going to stop smoking on Tuesday and stop drinking pop and walking every day and all kinds of stuff to save my money. life is vary expensive and it's going to get even more expensive tomorrow. so here is to u for a better life.

one good day.

so i think i had a good day today. my boss tolled me that i will get $.50 cents more starting now so now i make $8.00 and hour YAHOOOOOOO!!!! then at the end of the day i went to talk to HR to talk about insurance and my Aflac. well i have insurance starting today and she will talk to Aflac and get me papers to fill out so i can get money from them. YAHOOO!!! so far it is looking good. did i tell u i am losing weight too. YAHOOOO!!!

thinking positive!

well the girl who was pregnant with me she had a girl yesterday so every one was talking about today. man, i was so bummed out today. but i got over it. now she will come to work to show off her little girl. it's not fair !!!!!!!!! it is so hard to go to work and every were i go i see happy pregnant girls. it is so hard. ok (think positive, think positive !) ok i am thinking positive in 1 month me and mike are going to try again. for some reason i might have a boy i don't know why i think this but i do. witch is ok that just means if we have a boy we have to try again so i can have a girl. i was just thinking. wouldn't it be weird if we had a boy or a girl and the baby looked just like Riley??? that would be SO weird. but it would be good too. how many kids will we have 2 ,3 or more??? hmmmm well i do not care i always wanted a big family. i will get pregnant this summer and i know i will hate it cuz it's so hot but it would be so cool to show off my pregnant belly so i hope i get a cute one again. cuz i did have a cute belly with Riley and every one knows it too. but what am i going to do if i get as big as Becky or Sarah? wow they were big!! so i will walk and not be lazy like i was before. it will be great. i can't wait. 1 more month and we get to start trying. if the Doc. say's it is ok i mean. we will see.

just another day!

sorry i have not been writing on my blog but i have been busy every day after work i went to baby site the kids. so i just got home from work and a girl from work who is pregnant is in labor and should have her kid i think by tonight. i think she is having a boy. she is keeping everyone up dated by the hour for some reason. work is getting better. every now and again some one asks me about the baby but it's getting easier to tell them. me and mike are going to wait 1 more month and then we are going to try to have another baby. i know it will take awhile and that's ok with me. i know it will suck beaning pregnant in the summer but i don't care i just want to fell my baby kick like it should. Riley died before she could really kick. i know that we should wait until everything is up to date but if u have never been in my satiation u will never really understand how it feels. i am trying to look past this and think of good things. so anyways everything is going ok for now and getting back to my life. so nothing new has happened to me just alot of thinking and everyone knows this blog is for me so i can wright down the things i am thinking . so in a few years i can look back and read it so if u don't want to say anything that's ok. i miss been pregnant and i want a family with mike. i can't see my self with any one else. i know times are tough right now but i know they will get better. so have a good day.

a better tomorrow!

well i am sorry about yesterday i was in a bad mood. so anyways i went to the job interview in evleth and they said they will call me some times next week. but i put my app. in at f & f the gas station in town and they said we will see and i put my app. in were Jo works the old farts home. i had 1 interview there and i am going back tomorrow after work for another one and the boss there said that because of my last name that i am a shoe in because he loves Jo. it is a midnight shift and i really don't have to do anything really. so we will see tomorrow.maybe he will say yes u got the job u can start Monday night. so cross your fingers. i am hoping my bad luck is turning in to good luck now. so if i get this job i will not be blogging allot cuz i will be sleeping allot.

everything is going wrong!

well work is getting better. i can't wait for payday. i am So broke. i thought i had money but i have no money so i do not know what i am going to do. i don't get payed until 2 weeks. so anyways i have a job interview tomorrow. i hope i get it. i don't know how i am going to go there every day but i will think of something. it pays good so we will see when i get payed from that job if i get it. but i am going to keep my other job also so i will i hope have 2 jobs because i can't live this way. there is not allot of good jobs around here so i hope i get it. but did u know life sucks? did u notice when u need the money u don't have any at all. nothing has been going right since Riley but we are getting by some how i just don't know how cuz we have no money. mike said he is getting food but i don't know how he is. cuz he has no money i have no money so who knows how we are going to get food. sorry if this is depressing but this is how it is right now. anyways whatever right. i know people are having a harder time in life then us so i am not complaning or anything. i just want to say life sucks when it really sucks. so nothing good happened in my life so this is it. i am just hopping it will get better soon. i hope u are having a better day then me.

LIFE!

so how is everyone going???? sorry i have not put up nothing but i have been lazy and tired. this weekend is crazy at work we have a full house. we have 173 rooms to clean. anyways my car broke down and Adam is fixing it thank goodness. i hope i will get it back tomorrow. everything at work is going ok. i am a little defencive of everything. but it's ok i think everyone understands it. i have a job interview on Tuesday and i hope i get it cuz i really need the money. i guess it's easy and i can make good money there. i think this a bad year for us cuz there is always something going wrong. but whatever i say. i will get over it. anyways i have to tell u something mom my comp is all screwed up i hope u can come over soon to fix it or something. well i do not have any scary storeys to tell. there are so Meany pregnant woman at work and i can't stand it. i am so jealous of them cuz they are so happy. i know i will be like that some day soon again. but that's all the news i have today i know it's boring but this is my life. so have a good night and a better tomorrow.

day 2 on the job.

well my second day on the job. still a little nerves but doing good. well everything went kinda good. this morning i was showing some one my tattoo and guess who was right there ?? jean !!!!!! so she talked as loud as she could and said " oh i was just going to tell her about your tattoo oh by the way (to the girl next to her ) do U want to see her tattoo ?" so i bitched her out. i tooled her she had no right to tell everyone about my tattoo it was my business who i tell. and it wasn't just another tattoo. it was for my daughter. i tolled her to shut up and mind her business, yesterday she said that every bad thing happens is a gift we just don't know it. so i tooled her this was NO gift. this was pure hell and beyond for me, mike and my whole family. so i think i scared her off cuz now she won't even look at me. hehehehehe. Sarah u would have been proud. well after that everything was good. when i was done with work and went to have a smoke in the break room this girl came up to me and asked how far along was i. so i tooled her i lost my baby and then i left to go work out at the gym and almost started to cry a few times. that was so hard. anyways there is a girl who i work with and she is i think 4 or 5 months and we started talking about baby stuff and oh my god i miss that so much. so me and mike were talking last night about when we want to start trying again and i tooled him as soon as i am done taking my medicine and wait 1 week after so it's out of my system. i thought i could wait for about 3 months but we can't. i want a baby. we are ready to have a baby. we were ready for Riley. yes i know i should louse all this fat but i know now that i don't have to feed my face in the beginning. i am going to work out the whole time. please do not tell me we are not ready this is up to us. just be happy about it. we are ready.

work!

well i am back from work and it went good. nobody asked me anything. some tolled me it was good that i am back . i got 1 hug. everything was going great until some old woman seen my tattoo and announces it to the whole room that i have it and i had to show it off. that was not cool. i all most started to cry because it's not just another tattoo to me. then she said that everything that goes wrong turns in to a blessing in some way. i wanted to slap her because that is NO blessing. no mater what way u look at it. then she said god might think u were not ready for it. i have no idea why some one would say such a thing to something like this. well anyways i wanted to go work out after work but my foot hurt so i just came home. so we will see tomorrow. dad guess who that old bat was who said that stuff to me??? jean!!!!!!!!!!

back to work.

well tomorrow i go back to work yahoo!!! i have to wake up at 6am hopefully i can wake up that early again. it's been a while. but i am some what nerves and excited about it. getting back to normal i guess. i know some will just look at me with sympathy and others will ask and i know who it will be cuz she is the only person from work who called me when she found out. i don't mind telling her cuz she is kinda nice but the other ones just want to be noisy. but as soon as i am done working i am going to there gym to start working out. i can't wait. anyways come back tomorrow to see what happened.

spring is coming!

such a beautiful day in the neighborhood don't u think?

this is mike!

well i think i am going to be ok my foot doesn't really hurt any more and i can walk on it now. but i have to take cephalexin for 10 days. so it's all good. well i just realized that my year has not started out so good. who knows what else is going to happen too me. i don't know but i think mike is bad luck cuz ever since i meet him nothing has been going good. but i still love the guy. so what can i do??? the thing is when i tolled mike about what happened to me he was well i am glad u are ok and hung up u know. and that was on Friday and he has not called to check up on me since. i guess he is not to worried and having to much fun cuz he is at his son's grandparents this weekend with his son. don't get me wrong i like our time apart and everything but he could have called to see if i am doing ok. but whatever u know. in the pic up there is mike he is a nice,sweet guy but he can be a bone head some times. he might look scary but he is not. that is just for looks. he is like a big teddy bear in side. u know bikes are suppose to look like they are a bad asses but he is a good guy.

i am hurting!

well i just thought it was another boring day today. until i tryed to move my left foot! it hurt SO bad so i looking at it and it was getting swollenso i looked at my right foot and it looked normal. so me and mom went in to see the doc. i needed help cuz i could not walk it hurt to much. the doc. said it might be an infection. so he gave me cephalexin and i take that every 6 hours and naproxen i take that twice a day.

and sent me home with.

so this is what i am eating so i can take the naproxen. and not be in pain.
so this was a good beginging to my day. i was going to go to work monday but i have a doc. app. to see if it is getting better. but if it gets worse by tomorrow i have to go see him tomorrow. so do i have good luck or what???

my tat's

this is my first tat, i got this one a year ago. i love the saying cuz i say it all the time. she is my little she devil. this one is on my right arm.

this is my secont tat. i love taz. this one is on my right leg.

this is my angel. i got this on on the 11th. this one is on my left arm. they do hurt but it is worth it in the end.

good news!

well i had an app. with my doc. today. we talked about what happened and what he will do to make shore this will not happen again and what i can do. i have to stop smoking and NO ONE can smoke around me. i have to stop drinking pop and eat better. he also said that as soon as we are ready to have another baby and i said about 3 mouths or so. we will want to try again. he said to tell him right away so he can get me on vitamins. he will be vary up to date with everything give me more test, more ultrasounds and by 26 weeks i get to go every 2 weeks instead of every month. he is going to give me an ultrasound that will see how much the baby moves and if the baby moves allot it's good but if it is not that would mean the placenta is going bad and we would have to deliver the baby A.S.A.P. he said he is going to pull all the stops and check for everything. he will show me how to keep track on how much the baby moves. i will be height risk. me and Mike are vary happy about what he said. the Doc. also said that because i was doing so good he didn't have to worry about me and Riley. but now he knows that no matter what my test are i am high risk. i am vary happy about it cuz i know the next time we get pregnant my baby will not die. we are in good hands i think. so if i want to louse all this weight before i get pregnant again i better work my ass off.

she devil!

hello again, well only 2 weeks left until i go back to work and i will be a little nerves. some of my co-worked would not ask anything but some others would want to know everything. they are going to ask why i didn't notice something wrong with the baby. and all i can tell them i don't know i guess i was to happy to and to excited, i thought she was sleeping allot i didn't know something like this could happen. then there is this one girl who is going to have her baby by the end of this month. since she found out she thought she was better then me cuz i didn't do everything by the book like she did. i did what i thought was right. well i went over to work like 2 weeks ago and she was there and she didn't even care i was there. she just stuck her nose up in the air and keeped on working. she probably thinks i did this to my baby. i think as soon as she has her baby and comes back she is going to rub it in my nose cuz that is the kind of chick she is now. well who ever knows me knows if this chick says something she shouldn't say to me i will have to get my piss and vinegar out and find Sarah's piss and vinegar and let her have it.

my baby girl!

this is my baby girl. she was a sweet little baby, she didn't do anything wrong she was happy. she liked to kick and play in my ribs and she loved to sit on my Balder. she loved her mommy and daddy but every time she hired her daddy she would go nuts.

this is where my little girl it today.

broke down!

well we all jumped in adam's car and we got about an hour and a half away and we turned around cuz the check engine light went on and off the whole way. we were so worried coming back. we didn't know if we were going to make it back. there was no heat in the car it was getting louder, the windows were fogging up and there was smoke coming from the back so we called JO and we seen her and we new we were going to be ok. but we finally made it back and as soon as adam stoped the car it really stared to smoke from the hood of the car. but as soon as he looked at it it was nothing big so he went to go buy the part and fixed it and i think it will be ok for now. it was fun. so that was my road trip bec's was sad we didn't come but i am glad we made it home in one peace. i guess i am bad luck or adam's car is worse then mine. anyways have a good day people.

road trip!

hello again i am going on a road trip with my big brother and his 2 little girls i am so excited i think we are going to Becky's but u never know with Adam. ok i am kinda scared too cuz if u know my brother he drives crazy so we will see. so wish me luck every body. and i will see u when i get back. poor Mikey has to stay home all by him self. i think he can Handel it but we will see.it will be SO much fun i think.!

no water!

today i woke up to brush my teeth and there was NO water. and i am not going to have any water for almost 2 days. the water heather was acting up and we would have hot water in the morning and every morning my boyfriend takes a shower so i will stink if i have to but do not worrie bec i will take a shower before i come over to your house. they are draining the water heaters cuz they said there was sand or some thing like that at the bottom and they have to get that out. so i hope it only takes 2 days if not i will be stinky when i go to bec's house. well i have some good news for my readers. my landlord said i should have hot water in like an hour so do not worrie bec i will not stink when i come over. so that's all the excitment i will be having to day. well have a good day people.

my first blog

hello every one and welcome my name as u know is ally. this is my first blog. i hope i am doing it right. i found out to day by my doc. what happened to my baby girl. and i do not know what to say about it but i hope it doesn't happen again the placenta was bad it didn't give her anything the cells in it were bad she didn't get any food or air or blood. he doesn't know why this happened he said it was a fluke i am hoping he is right. i am going to the doc's monday and we will talk more about it then. so who ever see's this let me know how i am doing.